Gone Too Soon….

momI just lost my mom and I’m thousands of miles away from her and my family. This pain in my chest won’t go away. This thumping in my head doesn’t stop. I suddenly miss her more today than all those years we’ve been apart. No words could console me; no action could ease my grief. None in the family were prepared for this.

She recovered extremely well from her triple bypass, physically became stronger, her cheeks got their pinky colour back and to top it all off, she was more than excited when my brother planned an overnight trip to a nearby island. Seems she was the happiest in the group and added an additional bag of shopping loot all for herself. That was only  a few days ago, on 15th Dec 2013.

The much dreaded phone call anyone agree with, took place yesterday, almost 9pm my time and at morning wee hours her time. My sister just wanted to keep me informed that our mom isn’t breathing after she managed to wake my sister up just to tell my sister that she can’t breathe easily. She also managed to add a few words of her personal wish that she wanted my sister to do. Barely minutes later after a washroom visit, my sister managed to yell out for my dad to wake up and assist mom to a couch where her loud and hard breathing rapidly became low, soft and eventually unheard. An ambulance took her away and the following conversation with my sister took place, mostly the words “she isn’t breathing and doctors are trying to resuscitate her with breathing aid” was spoken repeatedly. What seemed like ages later, at about 9.38pm, I hear my sister wailing on the phone repeatedly blaring “We’ve lost her sis! We’ve lost her!” And all I could do was asked my sister if that was the doctors’ exact words or did they say something else? No one, in the family could get past this event; at least not yet on this day. We’re all in a daze and we’re still seeing her in our mind’s eyes.

She’s  gone… just like that, she’s gone. Of all the possible other reasons to take her away, it had to be pneumonia. I’m still searching high and low for some kind of explanation. I never stopped beating myself up for not calling her yesterday just to hear her voice. Only God knows why.

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